What I am writing here is totally my observation and opinion.You may choose to disagree.
We often hear sad stories of old people who are either abandoned by their children or have other emotional sufferings.
Well based on my observation in my own family, my parents and rest of my paternal uncles and aunts are fortunate to have children like us.They live with us and we have sacrificed a lot for them. We belong to 70’s and early 80’s genre and I am proud of my generation and my paternal cousins.
However, everyone in my family are not like my paternal cousins. In my maternal side, there are quite a lot of cases where my cousins do not bother about their old parents at all.
Then I thought why such gap in the same family i.e. mother’s side and father’s side? Is it genetic? No, it can’t be.. Then what?
Here are a few points that could make difference:
- Upbringing by a set of parents where they are not emotionally rather obsessively attached to their children
- Upbringing by a set of parents where they gave enough room to their children and became friends after a certain age
- Upbringing by a set of parents where they live their own life at fullest teaching their children how to live a wonderful life while keeping an eye on them secretly
- A set of parents who do not think that their children are a jack pot for their old age and it is their children’s duty to look after them
I would like to ask a question to such old people, who are victim of loneliness or other circumstance and blame their children for it.
Q. Have they looked after their old parents during their youth? How much time have they spent with them? What financial aid did they offer to their parents?
Spiritually, it’s a life of karmas. You will get what you have sowed towards the last days of your life. Hell and heaven are here, in this life. Choice is ours.
I have also noticed that old people without their companion, are always emotionally deprived even if they live with their children. There are obvious reasons for it like generation gap, fast life, different lifestyle, extended family with a new family member and so on.
What I believe is that in an old age, we deeply need a companion who would communicate, understand and would give emotional support. In most of the cases, children could not satisfy all of such needs.
Thus, I think rather staying with children, who are busy earning their lively hood, old people can choose to stay either in a commune with people of same age group or should go to old age home. There they can make friends and can enjoy life in those last years by travelling in a group, doing other activities together, taking care of each other and so on. Those singles, can also look out for their companions and lead an emotionally satisfied life. Because it is all about emotions and not sex at that age.
They can visit their children on vacations and return to their abode with dignity.
Moreover, there is nothing called retirement. Till the time brain is functional, there should not be any retirement. An old man is loaded with wisdom and experience of a life time. They can certainly give back to the society at that age by any means. Those who are financially deprived can certainly earn by being a teacher.
And think, a combination of crèche or day care and an old age home together will be man-made medium of bringing new and old generation together. Perhaps the youth who is a parent and also is a child, doesn’t have time for both in this 21st century.